It’s fascinating, without a solid EQ foundation, many of our attempts to improve our EQ, fizzle out. Daniel Goleman made a compelling and accurate case nearly two decades ago that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) was more important to leadership effectiveness and performance than IQ. We live in a society filled with information and little emotional connection so this was a huge discovery.
Since most attempts at increasing EQ have resulted in temporary improvements, scientist knew there was something more foundational and it’s linked to how much Positive Intelligence you have. This is direclty associated with EQ.
Our core intelligence as humans has been ignored. It’s our attitude and ability to improve the quality of our thoughts. Positivity is a pre-cursor to high EQ, thus this is how to improve EQ in a lasting and sustainable way.
Pretend that, your mind tells you that you should prepare for tomorrow’s important meeting. It’s acting like a friend, creating positive action for you. Conversely, when your mind wakes you up at 2:00am concerned about the many consequences of failing, that voice is your enemy!
These negative thoughts are just exhausting your mental emotional bandwidth. What friend would do that to you?! (If you actually named someone, I suggest you delete them from your contacts! I’ve seriously removed friends from my life that I’ve had for years because when I dove into this practice of raising my EQ and positive intelligence, it made no sense to take these doomsday Saboteurs with me.)
Your ability to identify positive intelligence is your EQ. Having high EQ is the percentage of time your mind is serving you as opposed to sabotaging you. Compelling evidence from a synthesis of research in psychology, neuroscience, and organizational science shows that with higher EQ teams and professionals ranging from leaders to salespeople perform 30-35 percent better on average. What’s more, they report being far happier and less stressed.
To illustrate, when you find yourself getting angry, remind yourself this is under your control, it is your choice to communicate about it, or keep it to yourself and internally process it. LEARN HOW TO below…
Your thoughts can be great saboteurs as they are a set of habitual and automatic mind patterns. There are varieties that can be named like, Avoider, Victim, Judge, Controller, Stickler and Pleaser. They each have their own distinct assumptions and voice that directly work against you.
Know that you’re not alone, experiencing these Saboteurs is a human experience. This is a universal phenomenon, you’re not alone! The real question isn’t whether you have them, it’s which ones are prominent in my head, how often do they occur and do I listen to them?
You can take away the power and frequency in which these voices occur. Focus to realigning with the truth. Take your Saboteurs out at the knees by identifying:
- Who is your top Saboteur(s)?
- What are the key hidden beliefs?
- When does it occur?
Identifying the above is key because when you answer these ?’s you can now ID your internal enemy with it’s ‘tell signs’. In a way you’ve, drawn yourself an accurate ‘mug shot’ of the voice that you can now see, stop and arrest.
The moment this voice shows up in your head, you’ll feel it. When this occurs, simply label that thought. I like using: Avoider, Victim, Judge, Controller, Stickler and Pleaser.
Tell yourself, there it is, now I’m not going to value it. Undoubtedly, the voice will persist so when it comes back, continue to identify it, and ‘arrest it’. When you take the action of noticing and labeling you separate it from the useful thoughts. You’ll see the profound impact. Do this for yourself in the next hour, day or 5 days. Set a realistic length of time to consciously focus on red flagging negative thoughts, label it and arrest it.
To lock in this concept, check out the difference in these self-thoughts, ‘I will find a way and succeed’, and ‘This is impossible, it cannot be done’. Whoa hello! That’s ‘The Judge’ thought and it needs to be taken away and given NO authority over your emotions, nor actions!
The moment you ID a saboteur thought, it loses power over you and you strengthen your internal wisdom, your positive intelligence which directly leads to your (EQ). I love you! Never let the saboteur thoughts win. You can do this! Go get em.
- Goleman, D. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Random House; 2012.
- Drigas AS, Papoutsi C. A New Layered Model on Emotional Intelligence. Behav Sci (Basel). 2018;8(5). doi:10.3390/bs8050045
- Richardson K, Norgate SH. Does IQ Really Predict Job Performance?. Appl Dev Sci. 2015;19(3):153-169. doi:10.1080/10888691.2014.983635
- Srivastava K. Emotional intelligence and organizational effectiveness. Ind Psychiatry J. 2013;22(2):97-9. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.132912
- Rupande, Gift. The Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Student Learning. International Journal of Managerial Studies and Research (IJMSR). September 2015.