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mindset, love, positivity, lost my job, ideas for success

Relaxing into success

How do you define success? Our global cultural perspective on success runs the full gambit. Around the globe success is defined by; weight, number of cows, family size, type of monetary possessions, level of happiness, others define success by one’s job, income, degree of spiritual faith, color of skin, who you married, what kind of animals you domesticate, etc.  You get the idea!  :)

Some of these measurements for success seem familiar, some seem bazaar however that’s just because of our social construct to think one thing is right or better than the thing that’s different. (Just because it’s familiar, doesn’t mean it’s not bazaar. Right?!)

Learning about other perspectives on success help us understand our own. For example, in the USA, millions of dollars are spent to achieve a bronzed tan look so it appears as if you’ve just come back from a tropical vacation. Conversely, when living in Bali I learned that main stream youth in their 20’s are bleaching their skin to have a whiter color skin. In fact skin bleaching is rampant in many dark skin cultures. I initially learned about this through many Balinese friends who live in a society where white skin is more successful because the unspoken understanding is white skin equals classier, smarter, and richer. Hence, they want to get ahead and be more successful in this world so they change what they can about their natural cocoa brown skin tone. Many Balinese share with me that white skin is considered ‘better looking’ and to many in Bali, white skin indicates higher class.

If this word has a non-universal definition, then perhaps we can be open to the fact that perception and perspective of your personal success can alter greatly. If perception is reality, then perhaps if one feels slightly unsuccessful, a shift of perspective can create an entirely refreshing reality of success.

For example, many cultures believe that a high paying corporate career and being married with kids is hugely successful. However, look at the Airstream couple who became jobless, then consequently homeless. They went from seemingly unsuccessful, to youtube six-figure earners in a matter of months. Their “job” is to post on social media about their joblessness and 200 square foot home on wheels lifestyle.

These individuals when first laid off, were scared as they lost their jobs and unsure of where they would earn money and live. These folks needed to move out of their home (due to an untimely large increase in rent). They became nomads and reinvented themselves by life circumstance and yet, they had a CHOICE to be inventive, adapt and overcome, or wallow in self pitty.

They became wildly happier because of their joblessness and homelessness. It was unintentional, and yet very intentional to let go of society’s general definition of success. They decide to let go of control and be more curious. They focused on what they did have (love, great attitudes, and a small airstream trailer). They created a new level of wealth, happiness, and freedom by not abiding to how others define it.

What seemed like a nightmare at first, became a dream come true. 

Daily gratitude for the smallest of things, eventually brought larger things to be grateful for until one day they saw that as they were filming their Airstream upgrades, people were watching the videos. In fact, thousands of views and advertisers were responding with offers to pay them for advertising on their youtube channel!

They now travel and are able to value their freedom, AND earn income. They created a mindset to see the opportunities and not the losses. Where can you slow your mind to see the opportunity vs the loss?

Although the losses were in front of their face daily, they chose to seek out the positive aspects of a rough situation. The positivity helped create momentum to pull in more positive experiences.

The process of controlling our minds when challenging times hit. To see and seek out the achievements (no matter how minuscule) and acknowledge then let the inevitable anxious thoughts go.

Often times we’ll conquer our own thoughts and are hit with those closest to us pointing out our shortcomings. Because it’s easy to see the monumental losses, (people love to point them out to you…even if ever so subtlely. RIGHT!?! Sometimes your family, friend, partner, or colleague just floats some negativity and judegment out there and we get to choose if we let it roll off our shoulders or not.

If you create a dedicated daily practice of a gratitude (journal, meditation, qigong or yoga), you’ll feel and ID the stressful layers, then release them. You will physically feel lighter and let go of the society’s expectations and brainwashing.  You’ll feel the difference immediately and see progress on a weekly basis – almost immediately.

Chasing success is a game that you’ll never win if it’s founded in anything other than your heart space. An evolved mindset reset and letting go of the self criticism in order to bathe in the arms of accomplishment feels amazing. Join one of my online LIVE courses or check out my YouTube for free meditations. I’m here to be a resource for your bliss.

Sending you love and light,



Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: February 2, 2021

How to cultivate calmness

Cultivate Calmness + Pease Within

I believe you have everything you need inside of you, and in your surroundings (mother nature), to build resilience, feel whole and live a life that you’re excited about. It’s a privilege to be human (it took millions of years to get this large brain of ours) and yet we’re suffering from our own intelligence. We have a complex brain with imagination and memory which could very well be our demise as we tend to get stuck in; imagining reality worse that it really is, and holding memories that don’t serve us. :)

Look at people who have suffered from their failure vs learned from their failure. People can carry this suffering forward as they cannot forget it and when they imagine their future it’s imagined with painful experiences. Self fulfilling prophecy occurs and the cycle of suffering continues. These people are emotionally torturing themselves with two fantastic intellectual tools that help separate humans from other animals.

Memory and imagination can bring wonderment, bliss, and manifestation. Imagination and memory can also be a curse if we use it against ourself. It is up to us. We do have control of our attitude, thoughts and behavior.

Having life challenges is normal and expected as challenges are part of life’s journey. It’s how we deal with these issues that gives us quality of life and calmness.

Generally life is about management of our emotions, our emotional intelligence. This arguably is the most important aspect of life. This society deems material possessions and power as successful, yet what’s important when we transition out of this world? Are we wanting material possessions or calm peace of mind? Do people on their death beds look back on their life and wish they had more money or happiness?! It is calmness and happiness.

We have the honor of being able to look at our lives right now and make decisions that alter how we live, think, and LOVE. What you think effects your body. Equally your actions effect your body, thoughts and feelings. They all typically go hand in hand.

There are no shortcuts, nor magic pills, but IF it would be helpful, I can support you, your organization, or someone you know who wants more calm and happiness in this journey. I can provide some useful tools and resources for you if you’re needing a little or a lot of extra support right now. In life there are many times when we feel like things are against us.

What we want to remember is that the Universe is conspiring for us, not against us. Even when you feel utterly lonely you’re still breathing yes? You are still consuming water/ food? Yes? Then your existence is constantly engaging and interacting in the Universe, with the Universe. This is interaction and relationship at it’s very root.

There are transactions that are still happening even when we feel alone, these transactions are subtle and great in your life. It is a matter of perspective and shifting focus. I fully acknowledge that painful challenges will come in and out of out lives, we must accept this as part of the human condition and see what we can learn from these inevitable challenges. Choosing to see the positive interactions in our life DOES NOT always COME NATURALLY.

  • Less consumerism helps. We came into the world with nothing and we die with nothing. IN spite of that we may think we need to have more possessions. Despite leaving this world without the things we think we need, WE still put pressure on ourselves to achieve the kind of ‘success’ that’s deemed by society.
  • Lighten up and play more. Taking yourself too seriously will kill you faster than anything. We’re a pop up on this planet. Countless number of people have walked this planet. Where are they? Live in the moment and focus on your happiness and do whatever it takes to make you happy without hurting someone.

Please feel free to reach out and DM me. My purpose is to help people cultivate calmness, happiness and success. No matter where you find yourself do something today to give yourself the best chance to thrive!

Sending love and hope your way,


Tags: , , , Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: January 12, 2021

digital detox, feel cleansed

Enjoy A Digital Detox and Feel Cleansed!

STOP The Time Thieves and the ‘ping, dings’ of notifications. Unplug, and EnJOY a Digital Detox and Cleanse. Update Your Settings, Delete Apps, and Prioritize your digital world for your mental health and physical wellbeing.

Recently many of us have turned to social media for entertainment and as our main ‘personal’ interaction. For this reason, it’s more important now than ever for us to do brief ‘check in’s’ to see how we’re feeling while using these platforms. A couple quick questions to ask yourself, “does it feel uplifting, inspiring and educational?” and ‘Is this online application, show, meme, and information fostering my growth and the world around me?’

Life right now is constantly ebbing and flowing, like and ocean, we’re often experiencing tumultuous waves of stress. During these times of constant changes and challenges, many of us were, and are, on the verge of a total breakdown. Honestly, for me, I’ve broken down, multiple times. And I’m okay to admit this. I felt better after releasing my emotions as I discovered what I needed, what was off! One thing I realized during a good cry, was how intensely my digital lifestyle was contributing to my stress so I shifted my lifestyle and I immediately felt relieved and more peace.

Thanks to my break down, I became aware that I needed to delete certain apps I felt glued to, possibly addicted to. I loved watching the dancers and the people supporting one another on TikTok, AND I realized over time, it was a time suck and left me feeling empty.

I also deleted myself from group chats I felt hostage to, and ensured my phone was turned off 1 hour before bed. And I was able to BREAK a bad daily habit as my phone no longer was the first thing I looked at upon waking. Now my phone is charging in another room before I go to bed.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you’re numbing yourself from pain, you’re numbing yourself from joy”?  Essentially, if you ignore pain, you also ignore and stop yourself from letting JOY into your life. Emerging ourselves in the online digital arena is a fabulous TEMPORARY distraction from negative emotions.

Even if you’re not online socially and staring at apps, we’re living in the age of UNREST and change. So, it’s easy for us to get caught up in the constant waves of information. Unfortunately, the negative messages tend to speak the loudest and land hard. I remember going down a rabbit hole of breaking news while I was supposed to be working on an inspirational blog :). It felt like I was catatonic, sitting there for over an hour. In reality it was no more than 20 minutes. All of a sudden, I had back and neck pain. My body ached and I felt tears welling up. I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. At the time, I didn’t realize I was stressed, but clearly, my body was telling me otherwise. I listened…

Since then, I’ve overcome a lot of personal challenges, each difficult in their own way, and while I would’ve loved to power my phone off, grab a blanket, a bottle of wine, and binge-watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (again), I knew that wasn’t going to be the best way to heal. I want to help create real change in this world, as I’m sure you do too. I felt overwhelmed with news and the digital world. In order to continue to stay focused on our goals, stand up and fight to help others, we have to prioritize our personal mental, physical, and spiritual wellness.

I understood that I needed to learn how to properly manage, restrict, and disconnect based on what my mind and body were telling me. I underwent a social media detox, but not the kind of social detox you’ve come to know where people disappear on a vacation and don’t post for a week, or detox by deactivating all of their accounts.

Instead of shutting the world out, I chose to use technology to my advantage. I needed to alter the way I used it by disconnecting from certain aspects of social media in order to reconnect with myself and the world around me. Social media platforms are not bad, but how and when you decide to use them determines whether they’re toxic or revitalizing. I wanted to share my process of adjusting social media to become what I need it to be in order to serve my current goals.

Creating these healthy boundaries (although they will feel like restrictions at first), gives you a better opportunity to achieve what you want. Focus your energy on the best resources for your journey of optimal health.

Here are 8 GREAT WAYS I cleansed my digital lifestyle;

Protect your body – The average American spends nearly half of every day staring at a screen, and our bodies pay a price. To combat digital eye strain, which can cause dryness, blurred vision, and headaches, follow the 20-20-20 rule. For every 20 minutes you look at a screen, look up and at an object 20 feet in the distance for 20 seconds. Also, don’t forget to blink! To fix “text neck,” skip the bent neck and hold your phone higher so you can look at it straight on.

Notifications – Receiving constant updates on what’s happening in the world is informative, AND distracting AS HECK! If you’re allowing yourself to get interrupted five times in an hour, you’re never actually focused in the moment, nor able to be efficient in your tasks. One easy fix is to turn off as many notifications as you can. A QUICK Google search will show you how.

Switch background and color theme – One reason our devices are so alluring is that they’re vibrant. Go retro, or black background. Many smartphones allow you to make the entire phone be in gray scale and with a less ‘attention seeking’ vibe.

Designate tech-free hours.  Take breaks from technology and we often times feel naked. That’s all the more reason to DO IT. That tech-nakedness can do wonders for our well-being and spirit. Start by designating a certain time each day that’s tech-free. I designate lunch time and before bed. See how you feel after a week or so. Most people feel happy with the change, and they expand it.

Use paper – If you’ve ever noticed that reading a book feels more satisfying than reading a tablet, you’re not imagining things. Not only do books offer fewer distractions, but research suggests that when we read on paper, our minds process abstract information more effectively.

Focus on one screen – One screen at a time so our brains don’t haywire For example, when we’re attempting to work (or, say, watch The Bachelor) and we start scrolling through Instagram, our brains go a little haywire. Multitasking is really bad for us. Seriously, feel into when you’re focusing on a task and you get distracted—like, ‘oh, I’ll just click over to this other window’ or ‘I’ll just look at this text message’ — it takes several minutes to recalibrate on our task, right?!  Our brains don’t bounce back to the original task effectively. You can focus and make a habit of only looking at one screen at a time to improve concentration and most likely enJOY your task that much more.

Make a no phone zone – Make your bedroom and food time, the ‘no phone zone’. In fact, it’s best if you can leave your phone outside the bedroom at night. It’s a common sight at restaurants: a gleaming smartphone next to the bread basket. And yet, research shows that, even if we’re not checking our phone, simply having it on the table during a convo can reduce the quality of the interaction. Subconsciously, our brains are just waiting for it to light up, and as a result, we are not fully present. The more energy we direct toward our devices, the less energy we’re directing toward whoever is in the room with us.

Spring clean – Time to spring clean your social media accounts. FB and Insta help us to connect with people in unprecedented ways. Research shows that the more time we spend on social media, the worse we feel, EVEN if it’s gratifying in the moment. That’s not surprising, given the fact that we see only a heavily curated version of friends’ and celebrities’ lives, which can be toxic for self-esteem. How to decided when to UNFOLLOW and DELETE:

  1. Is the content that they’re sharing triggering you?
  2. Do you feel overwhelmed by their content or constant posting?
  3. Are you just straight up annoyed by them? It really can be just as simple as this. You don’t have to justify your decision to “Mute” someone if they are getting under your skin.

Personally, it’s really easy for me to get caught up in the dangerous rabbit holes of media content, but luckily there are a lot of people out there using social media for good. The key is to be proactive about who and what you’re exposing yourself to.

Think about the topics that make you feel amazing. From there, delete the ones that don’t make you smile. Go for it – clean house and don’t be afraid to delete, pause, block, mute, and unfollow until you’ve created a list of connections who make you laugh and smile and fill you with happiness. At least then it will be less intrusive to your psyche and you’ll feel more at peace.

Please write me to let me know how you do. If you want support, I’m an email or phone call away.

My best,


Learn Pure, Live Healthy



Tags: , , Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: December 12, 2020

My daily meditations help me beyond measure.

Choose An Ideal Meditation Style

I practice going to my ‘happy place’ on a daily basis. 💫I prioritize meditating because it brings me peace  and when I choose the ideal style of meditation for the situation I’m in, another dimension to reality is unveiled. 💫Whether I’m presenting on a conference call, or on vacation with my family, I practice THE relaxation techniques that meet me where I am (physically and emotionally). 💫

I use meditation to reduce my anxiety because it is proven to reduce stress and I see evidence of this in my practice. I’m curious, where YOU are in your meditation practice?

If you’ve;
🌕never tried meditation, or

🌕you’ve been neglecting your meditation practice, or

🌕plan on diving deeper into meditation, CONSIDER a supported 30 day Guided Meditation Course. 🌟

My intention is for you to integrate meditation into your daily life and life circumstances so you can be more present in the moment. Can you identify situations and experiences that would benefit from the aid of meditation? What if you have the skills needed to drop into meditation and choose the ideal meditation style for your state of mind, body, and environment?

Click on this link to join a supportive and deeply calming experience : MEDITATION COURSE ❤️

Tags: , , , Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: November 11, 2020

deeper conversations

Do This When Problems Overwhelm You

We find ourselves in situations that are often times not ideal and sometimes feel overwhelmed by challenges in life. Here is how to plan strategically and rationally for the situation you find yourself in.

Problems can be divided into THREE categories:

  1. Things you can fix,
  2. Things you have to put up with
  3. Things you should walk away from

Take each challenge that faces you individually and one at a time write down which category it falls into. The majority of people compound their worries through procrastination and indecision.

We as humans dither between putting up with issues, fantasizing about running away from them, and trying to fix them in a reactionary, unmindful way. Slow it down with a more inward approach first. Replace negative thoughts with positive with a gratitude journal. Once you’re clear in your mind and connected to your intuition (your heart). Pick one strategy from the three above, then stick to it.

Filled Under: Blog Posted on: October 4, 2020

talk about anxiety

Confronting Anxiety Head On

We all have underlying  anxiety that comes into play (whether it be subconscious or conscious). Let’s understand the thoughts that perpetuate anxiety and ways to curtail it.

How do you replace anxious feelings and thoughts with positive ideas when the negative occur and reoccur? First, instead of running from the very real unpleasant feelings, identify them and understand the lies that we tell ourselves and the false ideas that are typically born from fear:

  • It shows I care when I worry. My family knows they are loved when I worry about them.
  • I have to worry because others around me don’t seem to care.
  • By worrying I am fending off the worst things that might happen.
  • Sometimes the things I worry about come true, which justifies all the times they don’t.
  • Worrying doesn’t hurt anybody, so why not worry?
  • When sh*t goes down, I’ll be ready! If I worry now, it’s like insurance to not be hurt in the future.
  • It is healthy to worry. Awful things are happening right now.
  • I know my worries make me feel bad, but I can handle it.
  • A lot of people worry, so I am not alone. At the very least I get a lot of reinforcement on the news and in social media.
  • If my anxiety touches others, they can connect with me and maybe be there for me without me having to ask.

Habitual worriers will recognize at least a few of these familiar thoughts in the list above. ALL OF US entertain some of these thoughts/ beliefs during anxious times (aka NOW).  😉

Each anxious thought is the product of fear. Clear, positive thoughts can replace the anxious ones. TRY THIS, say these mantras and statements out loud:

·      Despite my worries, I am safe and cared for.

·      Any problem is best dealt with when it actually occurs.

·      Planning for a bad eventuality should be done once, take very little time, and then left alone.

·      If you have coped in the past, you can trust yourself to cope now and tomorrow.

·      Worrying is pointless as a way to solve anything. It blocks the part of the mind that actually solves problems.

·      If you feel bad from anxiety, your hurt is self-inflicted, and getting out of the hurt involves taking responsibility for your own reactions.

·      The people around you do not like you better because you worry about them. They find it a nuisance but don’t want to upset you further, so they adapt and put up with it.

·      Worrying drives others away.

·      Worrying blocks a healthy sense of self because it is basically an expression of insecurity.

·      Anxiety doesn’t protect you from future hurt. It actually brings hurt into the here and now.

·      You are not your fears, but if you accept that you are, personal growth is blocked.

You might find it helpful to a) print these lists  b) open up a powerful conversation around each item with people you’re closest to.

The need to address our anxiety and settle the mind is more urgent now than ever. Take action and have deeper, more meaningful conversations. We have the ability to gain control over our fears and thoughts to the extent we can curb them enough to live our lives day to day and invite happiness and hope in. Be gentle with yourself, this is a process.

Sending you hope, love and light!

Filled Under: Blog Posted on: September 4, 2020

12 habits for healthy living

Playfully Navigate Life’s Journey

Focused on playfully navigating life’s journey VS hardening to it. Our inevitable challenging fate we humans have in these bodies is not an easy one.

Do you take time to check in with yourself?
When I do self check-in’s I can ID my mental and a physical state of being. THIS helps me maintain a high vibration AND it helps me quickly address when I’m off.

WHY not magnify the + good vibes and address the – bf they burrow too deeply?✨

CARVE TIME to ask, ‘how am I feeling?’ ‘Why am I feeling this way?’ Do a body scan. There is always an answer.

Address the answer by asking, ‘what can I do now to take small steps toward my goals?’

✨IF you USE your body’s wisdom it will guide you like an internal compass. It’s your heart’s magnetic field vibrating thru your body, sending loud and clear signals.

It will never lie WHEN we quiet the space around us and offer it space and time to communicate.

Keep practicing check ins. After years, I’m now able (in just a few seconds) to know how I’m doing and what I’m going to about it. ❤️

By taking time to check-in I either; address it, expand on it, or shut it down all together.

Check-in’s help me stay healthy thru life’s journey.

✨Sharing my experiences while sending love + light to you ✨I hope you feel the LUV✨

Filled Under: Blog Posted on: July 4, 2020

say goodbye to depression and anxiety

HOW To Settle Your Mind During a Pandemic

In the midst of widespread trepidation, what are your new mental health goals?

It’s my hope that each of us start pursuing a calm settled mind and ability to let go of the fear. We all know fear can be very persuasive and panic sets in. At the best of times most people don’t carve times to work on themselves. One good thing about this past year is we aren’t turning out backs on the fact that we ALL have worrisome problems and are opening discussions around and dealing with them directly.

Can you settle your mind and go beyond fear when you feel the worrisome angst rearing it’s ugly head? The first steps to gaining mastery over our reactions (specifically fear and worry).  Some effective ways to calm yourself;

  1.        Sit down and candidly share with someone what your level of anxiety is. Find someone or a group of people that are good listeners and can discuss your feelings in the context of getting past them
  2.        Be creative with your free time. Idle minds are fear’s playground.
  3.        Don’t dwell on anxious thoughts. When one arises, say to yourself, “This isn’t helping. Go away, I don’t need you.” Talking back to the voice in your head is actually effective.
  4.        Empathize with other people’s anxiety, but don’t make it a daily habit. Be helpful and reassuring. If this doesn’t work, tune out the most anxious complaints and focus on surrounding yourself with positive friends or uplifting podcasts.
  5.       Gather the adults in your family, and maybe older teenagers to see if genetically there is pattern of this in your family. Find out how they are dealing with their anxiety. They may be doing something that could be extremely effective for you.
  6.       Don’t obsess over the news. Limit your viewing time to short periods two or three times a day. This is a crisis unfolding in slow motion. You don’t have to keep up with it hour by hour, nor day by day.
  7.       Seek uplifting and consoling things to read and listen to.
  8.      Devote 2- 10minutes of time several times a day to sit quietly, close your eyes, and slow down your breathing to settle your inner waters and relax your body and mind.
  9.       Journal a daily gratitude journal. Write down a vision of your future as you would like to live it after the crisis passes. Detail all the things you want to achieve and experience.
  10.       What makes you smile and laugh right now in all this madness? Go do that shamelessly on a daily basis (as long as it isn’t hurting you or anything else).

As you can see, none of these things are a mystery or impossible to execute immediately. They are available to you, and if you seriously take this on, the project of defeating fear and anxiety is absolutely doable.


Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: May 8, 2020

"Hi QT, wanna improve your EQ?"

3 Strategies to Improve your Positive Intelligence (internal wisdom)

Why don’t I feel smarter?

Studies clearly indicate it’s our positive outlook, our Emotional Quotient (EQ), more-so than our Intelligence Quotient (IQ) that matters most. Western schools and institutions don’t measure EQ yet, so our value on intelligence as a society has been misguided. Despite institutions telling us different, science knows EQ matters more than IQ.

We as a Western culture are beginning to evolve with the science that demonstrates a high EQ is pertinent for success.

Great news, you can boost your own EQ when your focus is on key points. Below are some helpful HOW TO’s in shifting this ever-so-important state of mind to increase your EQ.

It’s fascinating, without a solid EQ foundation, many of our attempts to improve our EQ, fizzle out. Daniel Goleman made a compelling and accurate case nearly two decades ago that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) was more important to leadership effectiveness and performance than IQ. We live in a society filled with information and little emotional connection so this was a huge discovery.

Since most attempts at increasing EQ have resulted in temporary improvements, scientist knew there was something more foundational and it’s linked to how much Positive Intelligence you have. This is direclty associated with EQ.

Our core intelligence as humans has been ignored. It’s our attitude and ability to improve the quality of our thoughts. Positivity is a pre-cursor to high EQ, thus this is how to improve EQ in a lasting and sustainable way.

turn ya frown upside-downYour mind is your best friend, but it can also be your worst enemy. You know what i’m referring to as we’ve all done it, the self-sabotage!

Pretend that, your mind tells you that you should prepare for tomorrow’s important meeting. It’s acting like a friend, creating positive action for you.  Conversely, when your mind wakes you up at 2:00am concerned about the many consequences of failing, that voice is your enemy!

These negative thoughts are just exhausting your mental emotional bandwidth. What friend would do that to you?! (If you actually named someone, I suggest you delete them from your contacts! I’ve seriously removed friends from my life that I’ve had for years because when I dove into this practice of raising my EQ and positive intelligence, it made no sense to take these doomsday Saboteurs with me.)

Your ability to identify positive intelligence is your EQ. Having high EQ is the percentage of time your mind is serving you as opposed to sabotaging you.  Compelling evidence from a synthesis of research in psychology, neuroscience, and organizational science shows that with higher EQ teams and professionals ranging from leaders to salespeople perform 30-35 percent better on average.  What’s more, they report being far happier and less stressed.

To illustrate, when you find yourself getting angry, remind yourself this is under your control, it is your choice to communicate about it, or keep it to yourself and internally process it. LEARN HOW TO below…

facial expressions

Your thoughts can be great saboteurs as they are a set of habitual and automatic mind patterns. There are varieties that can be named like, Avoider, Victim, Judge, Controller, Stickler and Pleaser. They each have their own distinct assumptions and voice that directly work against you.

Know that you’re not alone, experiencing these  Saboteurs is a human experience. This is a universal phenomenon, you’re not alone! The real question isn’t whether you have them, it’s which ones are prominent in my head, how often do they occur and do I listen to them?

You can take away the power and frequency in which these voices occur.  Focus to realigning with the truth. Take your Saboteurs out at the knees by identifying:

  1. Who is your top Saboteur(s)?
  2. What are the key hidden beliefs?
  3. When does it occur?

Identifying the above is key because when you answer these ?’s you can now ID your internal enemy with it’s ‘tell signs’. In a way you’ve, drawn yourself an accurate ‘mug shot’ of the voice that you can now see, stop and arrest.

The moment this voice shows up in your head, you’ll feel it. When this occurs, simply label that thought. I like using: Avoider, Victim, Judge, Controller, Stickler and Pleaser.

Tell yourself, there it is, now I’m not going to value it. Undoubtedly, the voice will persist so when it comes back, continue to identify it, and ‘arrest it’. When you take the action of noticing and labeling you separate it from the useful thoughts. You’ll see the profound impact. Do this for yourself in the next hour, day or 5 days. Set a realistic length of time to consciously focus on red flagging negative thoughts, label it and arrest it.

To lock in this concept, check out the difference in these self-thoughts, ‘I will find a way and succeed’, and ‘This is impossible, it cannot be done’. Whoa hello! That’s ‘The Judge’ thought and it needs to be taken away and given NO authority over your emotions, nor actions!

The moment you ID a saboteur thought, it loses power over you and you strengthen your internal wisdom, your positive intelligence which directly leads to your (EQ). I love you! Never let the saboteur thoughts win. You can do this! Go get em.

Learn Pure uses only high-quality sources. This includes peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. We fact-check and keep our content trustworthy and reliable.
  1. Goleman, D. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Random House; 2012.
  2. Drigas AS, Papoutsi C. A New Layered Model on Emotional IntelligenceBehav Sci (Basel). 2018;8(5). doi:10.3390/bs8050045
  3. Richardson K, Norgate SH. Does IQ Really Predict Job Performance?. Appl Dev Sci. 2015;19(3):153-169. doi:10.1080/10888691.2014.983635
  4. Srivastava K. Emotional intelligence and organizational effectiveness. Ind Psychiatry J. 2013;22(2):97-9. doi:10.4103/0972-6748.132912
  5. Rupande, Gift. The Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Student Learning. International Journal of Managerial Studies and Research (IJMSR). September 2015.

Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: May 6, 2020

Melt Into Relaxation Thru Meditation

Meditation and COVID-19 Era

Since these are some crazy times we are living. I mean, the things we’re dealing with in addition to love, family, career…where do I begin: Extreme Politics, Coronavirus, Nutty Weather, Financial Downturns, Elections and No Touching!?! No one has the luxury of knowing how long this will last, nor when these multi-crisis situations will cease. We do have control over one thing, our attitude and for many of us we also have control over the immediate environment we create.

Melted_CandleCreate a relaxing environment with 2 powerful and cleansing elements: fire + smoke. Light sage, a candle or incense daily and drop into your zen zone!

We would all like to have more predicability in our lives. With this virus we’re challenged to plan our future. How do we make decisions that need to be made around: family, health, finances, housing, career and traveling with so many unknown variables? The answer, is you. The answers are within you when you’re in a listening state of mind, you’ll be able to understand your body’s wisdom and hear the answers.

You do have the answers in you, and yet there may be layers upon layers of sh*t between you and those answers. Identifying the right style of meditation can help you cut through those layers and get past the useless thought patterns and dive into knowing where your wisdom and intuition lays.

Only you retain the answers to your deepest questions about your life. Stop looking externally for it. Begin asking the most important questions you have, to yourself.                No amount of nature, movement, nor meditation changes the fact that we’re living in a stressful and unprecedented time, AND perhaps there is an amount of nature, breath work, yoga, dance and/or meditation that can help us process the noise?!

Regardless of where you stand in our current events, there’s something that rings true for every single human on this planet: We live in a noisy world filled with uncertainty, so quieting the mind isn’t easy when you begin the process of meditation (self discovery). It is a process and it is worth it! YOU are worth it.  Imagine in the face of stress, you feel an inner trust and connection to your intuition that instantly soothes you.

Scientific studies demonstrate when practicing a meditation that’s right for you, negative stimuli can be stopped from turning into stress. Meditation can stop the stress from wreaking havoc on our nervous system. When the nervous system is taxed, the body can display any number of symptoms from rashes and psoriasis, to head, back and stomach aches, to cancer.

We all know the inundation of news and notifications well. We understand the effects that media has on our subconscious. To what extent are we acknowledging that these translate to our health?

I would like to invite you to explore the topic of conditioning. How might you tend to allow ‘normal’ mainstream coping mechanisms like: T.V., alcohol, THC, zanex, oversleeping, and over social mediaING penetrate your wellbeing?

When we take accountability for what may have been going on under the surface of our awareness, we have the opportunity to embrace our true autonomy. We can then create a healthier, more authentic perspective.

* Your attention is Everything *

What we focus on, grows. Have you noticed? The moment that you finally put your attention on that exciting creative project, your relationship, your meditation  –  it grows and improves.

It works the same way with negative facets of your life! If you put your attention on your stress, it grows. If you put your attention on drama, expect more drama. If you put your attention on the world coming to an end, expect to receive more proof of that happening.

I don’t need to remind you that stress strains your nervous system and puts you in a vulnerable state both emotionally and physically – compromising your immune system. When the stress hormones take over, your body prioritizes your survival functions and has less time to heal or build up immunities.

Our brains are trained through attention. Over the decades, by numerous entities, our brains have been trained to pay attention to the stress, potential danger, thus, the negative stuff. If this weren’t true, then the negative news statistics simply would not be what they are.

Ultimately this is good news. If we trained the brain to worship the negative, we can retrain it to worship the positive. Right? Yes, it is absolutely possible.

And it’s simple by nature. It comes down to attention, every time. I invite you to quiet the space around you and ask yourself, ‘what am I letting absorb my attention?’ ‘What would make me feel good or even incredible to focus on?’ Do it daily and lessen or delete the anxiety provoking attention suck for at least a week and take note of the shift in your quality of thoughts and feelings.

Learn Pure is here to offer you potential insights and perhaps new perspectives or practices that inspire you to stay grounded despite the current state of affairs. Contact us for purpose driven personal development and expert coaching for your health and wellness.

Filled Under: Blog,Latest Blog Posted on: March 30, 2020

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