Confronting Anxiety Head On

Posted on: September 4, 2020

We all have underlying  anxiety that comes into play (whether it be subconscious or conscious). Let’s understand the thoughts that perpetuate anxiety and ways to curtail it.

How do you replace anxious feelings and thoughts with positive ideas when the negative occur and reoccur? First, instead of running from the very real unpleasant feelings, identify them and understand the lies that we tell ourselves and the false ideas that are typically born from fear:

• It shows I care when I worry. My family knows they are loved when I worry about them.
• I have to worry because others around me don’t seem to care.
• By worrying I am fending off the worst things that might happen.
• Sometimes the things I worry about come true, which justifies all the times they don’t.
• Worrying doesn’t hurt anybody, so why not worry?
• When sh*t goes down, I’ll be ready! If I worry now, it’s like insurance to not be hurt in the future.
• It is healthy to worry. Awful things are happening right now.
• I know my worries make me feel bad, but I can handle it.
• A lot of people worry, so I am not alone. At the very least I get a lot of reinforcement on the news and in social media.
• If my anxiety touches others, they can connect with me and maybe be there for me without me having to ask.

Habitual worriers will recognize at least a few of these familiar thoughts in the list above. ALL OF US entertain some of these thoughts/ beliefs during anxious times (aka NOW).  😉

Each anxious thought is the product of fear. Clear, positive thoughts can replace the anxious ones. TRY THIS, say these mantras and statements out loud:

·      Despite my worries, I am safe and cared for.

·      Any problem is best dealt with when it actually occurs.

·      Planning for a bad eventuality should be done once, take very little time, and then left alone.

·      If you have coped in the past, you can trust yourself to cope now and tomorrow.

·      Worrying is pointless as a way to solve anything. It blocks the part of the mind that actually solves problems.

·      If you feel bad from anxiety, your hurt is self-inflicted, and getting out of the hurt involves taking responsibility for your own reactions.

·      The people around you do not like you better because you worry about them. They find it a nuisance but don’t want to upset you further, so they adapt and put up with it.

·      Worrying drives others away.

·      Worrying blocks a healthy sense of self because it is basically an expression of insecurity.

·      Anxiety doesn’t protect you from future hurt. It actually brings hurt into the here and now.

·      You are not your fears, but if you accept that you are, personal growth is blocked.

You might find it helpful to a) print these lists  b) open up a powerful conversation around each item with people you’re closest to.

The need to address our anxiety and settle the mind is more urgent now than ever. Take action and have deeper, more meaningful conversations. We have the ability to gain control over our fears and thoughts to the extent we can curb them enough to live our lives day to day and invite happiness and hope in. Be gentle with yourself, this is a process.

Sending you hope, love and light!